students / sample departing letters
Tonight I lie sleepless, that moment replaying over and over in my head. I would do anything to go back, would give anything to stop it from happening. We lived fast, and we drove hard, but this?! This is bullshit. How did it happen?
I will never forget this day, the day I lost my friend, my partner-in-crime, someone I called my brother, the day I lost you. I refuse to believe it, yet I know it true. They always told us it was dangerous, but we didn't listen. We blew them off. How will I ever look your folks in the eyes, knowing what was going on but doing nothing to stop it? Hell, I probably encouraged it, being there with you. It was just so much fun, but nothing warrants this. Nothing, ever. All our memories we had together, I can't believe we'll never have any more.
This has to be a nightmare, it just has to be, and I'm ready to wake up.
I should have been more responsible. I knew he had been drinking, I knew he was in no condition to drive. I told you it would be okay, it wasn't. I was not in the right state of mind to make a decision like that. If only I knew that it would lead to this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let you down; I let myself down. I hold myself responsible for your death. I had the power to prevent this, I didn't. I'm so sorry.
I don't know where to begin. We have been friends since elementary school. We were supposed to be "Best Friends Forever". I cannot find the words to express my grief and sadness. I don't know how I will go on without you in my life. I have many memories from all the times we spent together, but I don't have you. I have the poems you wrote, the photos of us making stupid faces on our computers, Facebook messages, but I don't have you. Why did this happen? I can't believe that you are the one that died.
I now must be the sister and daughter they will no longer have. I know that they are devastated. How can I live up to your standards? I will always love you and will live my life in your memory. My mom told me never to get into a car with someone who had been drinking or doing drugs. I never really believed that smoking weed could end up this way. I knew that Johnny had been smoking weed. I never thought it really was that big a deal. I never believed this would happen. I wish I could bring you back and that we could have one more chance. I can't believe you are gone forever.....
What was I thinking? I was sitting right next to him. He was driving and I saw him reach for his phone and start texting. I told him to just watch the road and drive, but that's all I said. I wish I had grabbed it out of his hands! I can't believe this has happened. I'm hoping it's just a nightmare and I'll wake up. Please let me wake up. I don't know what to do. I can't believe my best friend is gone. How will I continue without you? All the love, laughter and secrets that we have shared. I wish I could take yesterday back. I never imagined it could end up like this. It happened so fast...it was only a few seconds, I swear. How can you be gone?
My life will never be the same. I feel so guilty! I can't even look at your parents and sister. Everyone is so sad. I don' t know how to say goodbye to you, I can't.
I hardly have words to say. I still cannot believe this happened. But it did. It feels unreal. I keep trying to believe it's all a bad nightmare; that I'll wake up and you'll be here, telling me your stupid jokes, laughing together about the silly childhood pranks we carried out together, remembering trips with your family and all the great summer adventures we shared. You've been like a sister to me. Always by my side when I needed help or support. The pain of not having you here is unbelievable.
Why did I tell you that it was fine to grab a ride with this guy? Just because he was going our way? How stupid was I to believe he would drive any differently than he always has? I could tell from the first few minutes in the car that he was driving crazy; that he thought it was funny. Why didn't I insist we get out of the car and find another ride? Why didn't I yell at him to pull over, that he was playing around with our lives? I just kept thinking...we're almost home, we're almost home. But we never made it, did we? YOU never made it, and for that I will always and forever carry the weight of responsibility. Your family is heartbroken. I am so unbelievably sorry...sad...remorseful. The pain of losing you is excruciating.